The sweetest reminder

Sitting on my deck last night I allowed myself to drift back in time.  The setting reminded me of a time so many years ago when I attended youth conferences in Texas. Every single night we would go to the tennis courts and lay there staring at the sky praying or reflecting on ourselves all the while listening to music.  They called it vespers.  I loved that time so much that when I went home I continued the practice on my own. The neighborhood boys and I would lay on my front lawn and pray. Last night I remembered all of this. I then to reflect on where that girl went. I was sad to realize where I've let myself land. I've promised myself never again and until I'm where I belong I will spend my days trying to live life as I was.intended to and to remember to always put God's plan before my own selfishness.

Ridiculous

It has been so crazy lately.  I just realized things that happened only two weeks ago feel as if they happened months ago. I'm used time.sweeping by yet the last few weeks feel like blur. A slight recap maybe?
hmmm welp girls are crazy. I still hate drama. I've had to fight the urge in recent weeks to not be callus.  I've instead prayed and pretty much stood my ground. 
Tony's Gma died two weeks ago so we spent 36 hours in stunning Amarillo tx. Got to see is brother and sister .... his sis is pregnant. And Jesse is moving to Wichita in June.  He.will be living with us.
I'm still not pregnant and trying not to care.

Last weekend was the.conference in kc. So much fun. Tony got his award and I'm so proud. 

Logan is changing every single day. I'm in awe of him. He is the best part of life!
The house is coming along.  House warming will finally happen in may. The Madison house is ready for rent. They move in may 15th.
3 more weeks of work then it's summer vacation wahoo! And now you're caught up!

All these things that I have done...

Well I felt horrible again today....Sick of the all day sickness feeling....One thing about clomid I have never enjoyed it makes my body act like it's already pregnant *annoying*.
This week has been another off one. It really was better just sadness had to happen and that sucks.
Work is amazing as always. I am being offered a position after work to hang out with one of our older kids. Mainly take him to teen night, and do fun stuff with him. Since he has such a special issue and only a select few can deal with him. His parents asked that one of his current Para's be asked first. So I was asked. I have said yes. This student his my biggest problem, yet my favorite too. I am really excited for this chance. I am really feeling good about my job. I am going to be in control of the class for summer school and in January I will be taking the test for sub status so I will be the sub for Jenna always. Which is good for our kids. They hate change and when a stranger comes into our room forget about it. It's a bad day.

The move has gone so well. House is all together. I just need curtains and to get Logan furniture for his room, which at this time is serving as a play room and he is sleeping it what will be the babies room.

School is good. I love college. I think I wanna always take classes =)

Friends are amazing. What they will do for myself, and family warms my soul. I am blessed.

Family is great as well. Hosting my first East Dinner SUnday...15 are going to dine at my home. Oh boy the pressure is on.

Frustration

I feel people need to think outside the box. I'm so sad for my friend.
I don't get it I'm not a threat at all. I love my husband and family.
I'm in my life but yes I'm close to my certain group and have been for decades.  I'm just so frustrated that this stuff has to keep happening! I just needed proof that it would be grown up and safe for my family to be.around. I don't need drama ugh this makes me sad :( then again I suppose if you have never had good friendships you couldn't undestand the extent you go. I just hope it's growing experience and life continues to bless us all.

I've learned

It's hard to live like Jesus.  It's hard to have faith in something you cannot see. But doing those things will bring you many blessing.  Material possessions matter not. Especially when they dont follow you after this world.  A soul mate is the person God made just for you. Life will always be less then par when you are away from them.