I want to sing

Just got super excited because I realized I get to go karaoke for the first time since my bday next WEd. WHo is coming with me?

LOVE

My heart says one thing, but my brain......... the part of me that I wish I had the off switch for says something else...So it's a battle and I am about to just go to war. =) With myself of course don't worry no one in the flesh is in any danger what so ever. All I know is Love should not be conditional, it should be equal and enjoyed. You shouldn't have to convince yourself to love someone or to be loved back. And threats well they have no place in love. At least in my version of love. If you have a better take please by all means share. You know I love to get people talking. That is all for now.

11 months

My baby is 11 months old today...It's starting to freak me out. He will be 1 in a month...I just reflect on this last year, his birth and all we have had to go thru and man am I thankful. I still can't really talk about it without crying because it was happy, and sad, and really the hardest thing I have ever been through. Mainly from the start of my pregnancy until I finally knew he was going to be normal which was in end of May. My sister wants me to re-count everything maybe to help me heal from it and I plan to like I said before I am just not ready. When I am ready I will. Right now I want to focuse on what a blessing Mr. Logan is in our lives. I am so thankful and I love him more then life. He is my amazing miracle baby. =)

Girls Night Out

Alright so Cassie is in town. She won't be coming back as often. (which means more trips for me to Dallas to see her and the Godfather) We the four of us (Libby, Cassie, Becky, and myself) have not all been together (before Kayley's party yesterday) since my baby shower which was July 10th, last year. So Cassie wanted to plan a girls night for Thursday and she and I of course had to go with Olive Garden our one true love of chains. I am super excited all the girls are in and we all have sitters. Tony will be taking care of Logan at bedtime for the first time ever. EEEK. He has watched him many times, but never done the bedtime routine I feel it's time. He needs to learn his son his almost 1 after all. In any case I am overjoyed that I am getting a night out with my girls. It is a long time coming. I have missed them so much and this is going to be great.
Thursday shall be busy though I have a lot to do, and I am meeting with Rhonda, who is going to do a custom cake for Logans Bday so I have to finalize my idea. I am going a tad overboard with his first bday but I can't help it, he is my one and only and it's his 1st birthday and it marks the end to a rough year, a happy year but a lot of challenges for my family...... and the start of a wonderful year. I was talking to my sis late the other night and I still cry when I talk about Logan's birth and all that happened. She feels I need to blog to move on. So when I can find the words I will. Any how can't wait to see you ladies. I am so super excited. =)

Friends

Really excited for tomorrow. Kayley's Bday party and lots of people there to enjoy it. =) I will get to see Becky and the kids and I have not see her since March. This will be the first time all of our kids will be in once place too. Big deal here. Also Matt and his girls are coming so it's going to be so cool to see all the kids together. I am so looking forward to gettinga huge group pic of all of us and the kids that would just be so cool. Can't believe how much has changed with all of us.

I need my happy place

Ugh I can't sleep. I have been trying for some time now. Logan woke up around 1am got him back to sleep and now I can't shut off my brain. So many things on my mind. I think I may need some friend time or something. Just to rant it all out then it's all better? Or is it? Whatever the case may be the things that bug me are building up and we all know where that leads me. I wish I had an off switch, in fact I am pretty sure all of adults do wish for one of those most days. I am pretty certain though I am at the point of needing to talk them out. I think I am going to go think of "my happy place" a place that is free of all that bugs me, hurts me, makes me sad, angry, and so on. It's a perfect place I will tell you that much. =) I am certain that will help me sleep.
One more random thing, I was looking through one of my books and I found this quote and we all know I love C.S Lewis, but how true is this quote?

"Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives."

Okay I will go to my Happy place, good talk every one. Good night. =)

Growing baby

We sold Logan's infant carseat and bumbo today. Very sad day for mama. But they must grow up it's the rule. He has been done with the bumbo for a while his little butt kept getting stuck so we had to discontinue using it for his own safety and so he wouldn't get a complex over his growing booty. Lets take a moment to remember those awesome baby items that have left us since he came and then move on lol. =)

Thankful

Just thankful for what I have. I realize I am blessed. =)

12 years

This is an extra special post...Cassie and I have been friends for 12 years as of July 4th, 2011.(It's funny we actually know the date but the Holiday does help)..I have known her only a few weeks before that but the 4th was the first time we hung out...Mike shut the theater down way (I wasn't working but I remember Josh came and got me) Any how Cass stayed and hung out too. It was so fun..We about got set on fire my Danile as we were trying to go up onto the Towne West Mall roof...We have always joked about the 4th being our anniversary....So many great memories with her. She has been there for me thru so much. Break ups, heartache, the happiest times, she was the first person I called when I got engaged... She was by my side through so much trials with my husband ready to do whatever she had to to make sure I was ok. She listens to my crazy idea's and talks me back down or sometimes goes along with them =). SHe has been there thru loosing a parent, and celebrating the birth of my son, her, Godson. She is always there. We have been thru so much together, celebrated so much as friends. She know's when to call, it's weird like we have a internal sensor when the other one needs them. We have gone thru moves and now live two states apart. I remember when she moved 6 years ago almos to the day how devestated I felt. But the amazing thing is she is still so close to me. I saw her on almost a monthly basis there for a while just because I wanted to make sure she was ok. That is how important she is to me.

When I am around her I feel whole. If you have a soulmates that our friends then she is mine. She gets me and I get her. We are so much alike it's scary sometimes. I miss her not being near, but in a sense I feel she always is. As a mother she is who I look up to and who I go to when I feel I am doing it wrong. She is so much like a sister. Sometimes her timing at being at the right place at the right time is God's work. Words can't express how much this friendship means to me. Make fun if you will but this is an important day to both of us and if we don't get a party at 20 years we will beat you all down. =) CASSIE CROTTS. I LOVE YOU JUST LIKE YOU ARE MY FAMILY, MY SISTER. I THANK GOD EVERYDAY FOR GIVING ME SUCH A WONDERFUL FRIENDS. YOU MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT. Happy 12 years of being stuck with each other he he he he. LOVE YA GIRL.

4th of July

The fourth was also Tony's family birthday celebration. We weren't able to stay and shoot of fireworks as normal though because Tony had to work tonight. Big bummer really hate that he is on mission now... But we made the best of it. Most likely for the best Logan was up the last two night way past his bedtime and I don't want to get that habit started his routine is very important to me. My dad, Matt, Abby, and Emma joined Logan and I for some fireworks in my driveway. It was fun. Matt's girls remind me so much of Kayley and Madison I am sure when those four finally meet it's going to be funny to see how they are with each other. My mother-in-law bought me a beach hat...I guess that side of the family is going to Texas end of the week (My mother in law is going down tomorrow to watch Sean bc his mom has to travel...But the rest of them decided they were going end of week and going to the Beach) but my mother-in-law bought me a Beach hat. This is why I love her, she treats me like one of her own, I never feel left out when it comes to here. Any how I brought the hat out to entertain the girls..I think they likes it. Looked great on my dad. =)

Tony's birthday and a bit more.

Tony is 26 as of midnight. He was a bit down because no one sent him a happy birthday text at midnight. I ended up sending him one even though I was in the same room with him. =) I wanted to make him smile. The close to 1am Miss Libby Loffland sent him one, she is wonderful..... It's hard to believe this will be the 6th birthday I have celebrated with him. I still remember the first one was his 21st and he was crazy and funny. I also remember be sad because the 5th just two days later he was leaving for Basic and school for at least 5.5 months. So it was a bittersweet time for us. Now how different things are. We have a beautiful son, he is SSGT in the AirForce and just a different person all around from 6 years ago.

Tonight, as in before midnight we went down to the river to watch the fireworks that were for the baseball game. We ran into Michelle and Dallas and his little boy Emerson and ended up sitting with them. My dad was also able to go which was nice. They were supposed to start at 945pm but didn't kick off till about till over an hour later. LOGAN LOVED THEM. He just sat there in awe. I almost enjoy watching him more then the fireworks. He was so good too. He kept wanting to go to Michelle. HE really likes her. He didn't get too cranky either which was shocking because it was way past his bed time. In any case it was a lovely way to kick off Tony's bday. He cracks me up I keep telling him we can just relax this weekend but him and his to do lists. We went to a few yard sales today and the contacted a lady on Craiglist who was selling 12months and up baby boy clothes. I got 47 pieces for 20 bucks good deal or what? Any how it prompted Tony to pull out all of Logans outgrown clothes and seperate them so we can sell them. It's his bday weekend and he wants to work gotta love that. I want this blog to be to him. Happy birthday Anthony Ryan Garner. I hope today is wonderful for you.
Hopefully it will be a good bday. We are going to Jose Peppers (best Mexican food in ICT) and then to see Transformers 3. Some really great friends are joining us and I am super excited. My dad and Stacie are going to take Matt's two little girls, Emma, and Abby along with Logan back to our house after dinner and hang out with them while all the adults go see the movie for that I am so thankful. Happy Sunday every one make it a good one. =)

Blog help.

I am about to kill this blog....Night seriously but I can't comment on any one's blog..Someone help me please?

My Dad.

My Dad is wonderful we will just start with that... No matter what it is, he is always here for us. He is so willing to help with Logan and help me with house stuff when Tony is over loaded with work. The most amazing part he never complains or acts like it's innconveience to help or just be there for us. I feel like God has blessed me. He is so good with Logan too, I love watching them play and I really enjoy watching him change the poop diapers. Gives me a sense of what it must have been like when I was a baby. I just want to dedicate this to my dad. He is selfless when it come to my family and would do anything to help us. He gives us breaks when we need them and offers so much support when we really do need it. I don't know what we would do without him honestly. I love being home with my little man, but I also know to stay healthy I need a break from time to time. Even if it's just going to the store alone. My dad offers that and I never do or never will take it for granted. The list is long with all the ways he helps us I hope he knows how grateful we are that he is willing to be there.... Logan is a big fan of his Pompa. =) We love you Dad, you are the best. I am so thankful Logan has you in his life.

Logan is locked up.=)

Logan has been locked into the living room. With him now more mobile then ever we had to figure out a way to keep him in the living room and his bedroom area so we bought a gate. He is not happy about it. I am sure in a few days he will be used to it. I just didn't want him trying to climb the bookshelf or cabinets. I realize he might see it has "jail" but it's much more fun then jail. Sam seems to be most upset over this change. Baby proofing is a must however. =)