Logan James

My baby boy is going to be one in less then a week. I just don't even know what to think. I think about how this year has been all the obstacles and heart ache we have had with his health. Then I think about how he has defied all the odds set against him by doctors and nurses when he was first born. I was told he would be small most likely until he was over a year SOOOO FALSE. I was told he would be mentally & physically behind until age 1. All false. He was behind for maybe 6 weeks with the physical part but his therapist believed it had more to do with his size and not knowing how to balance then being 6 weeks early. He has just amazed me in the year I have spent with him. Watching him learn something new, or the smile he gives me when I walk into the room make me so proud. For so long I wondered if I would ever know the joy of being a parent. I now share in their joy and understand what it is like to be in charge of this life and love someone more then I ever thought possible. Logan to me is my mircale child, a real gift from God. I feel so blessed to have shared the last 365 days with this little boy. He is amazing. He is so much of Tony and I it is so neat. He is for sure outgoing. At first he will check the person out get a feel for who they are and then he is a social little guy. When he his learning something new, he will look at you to see if you are watching and wait for you to give approval. He smiles all the time, and laughs even more. He never waked up in a bad mood really and that big smile when I go to get him from bed makes my day perfect. He is my little man and I am so excited to celebrate this past year with my friends and family this coming Saturday. I have seem to get a lot of criticism for how I raise him and the one thing I have learned is actions don't lie. I must be doing something right because he is healthy, happy, well natured, and all around a good kid. SO to those who like to attack us well sucks to be you because you are going to miss out on one amazing little boy. He is a blessing to many any that brings me so much joy. God didn't allow Logan to come into this world just for me, he is here to inspire and bring others joy. I believe that with all my heart. I hope so many things for him in the years to come. I hope that I am able to always be the best mother for him, (not perfect I know that isn't possible) but I hope I am able to guide him in a life that is filled with love, his family (which doesn't mean blood) and a life close to God. I really believe he is going to be someone special thats for sure. Happy Birthday to my brilliant, firecracker of a son Logan James. You are so loved by so many and will grow up always knowing just how special you are. I want to say THANK YOU to those who have loved him, and been there for us and Logan in his first year of life you are also a blessing I couldn't have made it through this year without the love and support of you all.

Kansas City

Went to Kansas City, Thursday to Sunday. It was awesome. We stayed at the Holiday Inn CoCo key complex which is a resort hotel next to the stadiums. I was a brat and asked for the highest level possible and a late check out. Hey we platinum member of the Holiday inn club. From my time served with Marriott I know some of the rules I know Platinum members get a lot more perks and after the BS saturday nigth they owed us that much lol. We were on the 11th floor facing the West toward the stadiums it was freaking awesome. We went to my cousins for dinner thursday then power and Lights district which is my favorite part of K.C I just wasn't in the dance mood. Maybe bc I was with two boys. Saw a girl trashed dancing on the bar at the pizza place and it wasn't even ten pm. FREAKIG GREAT.

Friday was WOF which would have been awesome. We got up all early 7am...Went to eat, got to WOF at 930am had great parking..I got stung by a bee while waiting to go in dumb bee..Got to ride the Patriot twice and in stated to storm...So we hung out under a game hut for 45 min before it calmed down...We got to ride the train which was all wet. We then chose to leave for lunch and allow the storms to pass. So on to find a place to eat. We drove 40 min to some pasta place only to learn their first location was across from WOF awesome hahaha. Finally we got back at the park and it was still coming down but we waited it out in the car and the sun finally came out. We got to enjoy every ride we wanted and the risk of my certain death passed...(see I refuse to wear shoes to parks flip flops only) well I didn't want to wear my new sketchers so I wore my old ones which were pretty worn out and had 0 traction on the wet black top. I about feel every few feet. In the end I ended up taking my shoes off and making a go for it while it was pouring. When it dried not such an issue. =) We stayed until about 530 or so the headed back to the hotel to take advantage of the water park in our hotel. It was a blast. I was like a big kid again. Time of my life honestly. The boys and I were at war in the river with trying to take each other out such a fun time. We got a late dinner and went to this famous BBQ place where they yell at you. I was not a fan but it was good food. We then went back to our hotel and hung out in the bar to wait for Libby to arrive. She got in around 11 and we all drank and hung out it was fun. She was super happy to be there and I was happy she decided to come..

Saturday-we went to eat at this place in Legends. Hamburger joint it was freaking amazing. Then to schlitterbahn. Which would have been awesome if it hadn't been so dang busy. We made the best of it though. It's a lot of rivers and stuff. AND LINES. They have a raging river which is like a wave pool in a more confined space with about two or more miles of river where these waves just whip thru. In any case we were flying Libs and I took out several children by accident/ we still laughed it wasn't our fault. We drank frozen drinks and had a great time... Jimmy got stung by a wasp which was kinda funny. We then figured it was a sign it was time to go to the hotel and get ready. We went to The Plaza yes the plaza which was lovely when we arrived. I drove and got us there. We parked and decided to go to the melting pot for dinner. It was by far the most amazing dinner of my life. We ate so much food Libs said I looked pregnant lmao... I did it's true.... But four course meal come on... What can you do? So it took three hours to eat. When we left we were walking around looking for a bar and I started to notice all the kids looking like they were up to no good. I leaned in to our group and said, I felt lke my purse was going to get snatched and we needed to leave. They made fun of me but soon agreed. So we were driving and I turned a corner and noticed a cop yelling at a large group of kids. We got stopped at a light maybe 50 feet or less from the fight..Our windows down all of sudden five shots. And scores of people flocking in our direction. Light changed I got the hell out of there. GPS then took us thru the ghetto the entire way back to our hotel... It was weird. We get to our hotel and get stuck in traffic. We ask the guard whats going on apparently a production co was shooting a rap video in the water park...I have never seen sooooo many people just pouring in it was insane. We had to park illegal but the front desk said it was okay and they looked stressed. We then went upstairs and all stood at the window laughing, drinking and people watching it was free entertainment. We ended up with a noise complaint bc we were laughing so hard just joking with each other and so on. Lawerence was Sat bought Logan a bday gift and enjoyed some thai food. Then home. I slept the entire way for once I never do that...I was beat. So amazing to see Logan. I love KC despite the shooting thing it's still my fav place to vaca. I hope we go again soon for sure. It was a much needed getaway. I missed Logan like crazy though.... Tony and I are kinda fighting again hoping it lets up soon bc this weekend was wonderful I really had a great time.

Say Goodbye

Today as in 8/3/2011 is going to suck. My childhood best friend, and still friend, Leslie lost her dad in maybe the most horrible way. He killed himself and she found him. When I spoke to her it was awful because even though I lost my mom and it was bad, this is beyond what I felt. I just can't imagine. Today is the service and I am dreading it. I just went thru my closet and found that the only thing summer like and black that would be appropriate is the dress I wore to my moms service. Just all sucks. EVen though I have lost a parent and a father-in-law in the last year, I still have no words for her. I just am trying to be there for her. I just haven't heard her cry like that ever, and I just want to make it all go away. I am still shocked by her fathers actions it wasn't the Gene I knew and grew up with. Saying Goodbye is just awful I loath Death.